Two Teens bond over a potted plant.

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(A classroom. Two teens. The FIRST TEEN waters a plant as the SECOND TEEN watches.)

SECOND TEEN: You're overwatering it.

FIRST TEEN: I'm what?

SECOND TEEN: It's like you're drowning it.

FIRST TEEN: But it's not underwater.

SECOND TEEN: No—more like you're waterboarding it.

FIRST TEEN: But I love this plant. And considering the pet situation—

SECOND TEEN: She still won't budge?

FIRST TEEN: I don't want to push it.

SECOND TEEN: Probably a good call.

FIRST TEEN: Yeah. (Beat.) So this plant is like the closest I can get to a golden 'til college.

SECOND TEEN: Well, you're waterboarding your golden.

(The First Teen stops watering the plant.)

SECOND TEEN: Just do it once a week. 'Til it starts running out a little at the bottom. (Beat.) Why don't you let Mrs. Cole water it with the rest of the plants?

FIRST TEEN: Because it's mine. Because if I can't take care of a plant... (Beat.) I should bring it home, so she can see me not killing it. (Beat.) I can still talk to it every day, right? I read it's good if you talk to it. The CO2. (To the plant:) Hello, Inger. (To the other student:) You're not going to say talking is bad too, are you? (Beat.) What?

SECOND TEEN: Nothing.

FIRST TEEN: You should talk to her.

SECOND TEEN: What?

FIRST TEEN: Just say stuff.

SECOND TEEN: I really don't— How do you even know it's a her?

FIRST TEEN: Come on. Please?

SECOND TEEN: (Beat.) Inger?

(The First Teen nods.)

SECOND TEEN: Hi, Inger.

FIRST TEEN: Try to breathe heavier. More CO2. (To the plant, accenting each breath:) Hello, Inger. How's my favorite little ficus today?

SECOND TEEN: I'm not doing that.

FIRST TEEN: You talk to Sydney.

SECOND TEEN: He's not a plant.

FIRST TEEN: He's a stuffed animal.

SECOND TEEN: Koala.

FIRST TEEN: He's stuffed. How many [Second Teen actor's age]-year olds have stuffed animals?

SECOND TEEN: And this is why you're not invited to my house anymore.

FIRST TEEN: I'm... No, I— What...?

SECOND TEEN: When's the last time you've been over since...?

FIRST TEEN: I've been— I have most definitely been...

(The Second Teen shakes his head. Beat.)

SECOND TEEN: You rearranged our entire dish cabinet.

FIRST TEEN: I cleaned it.

SECOND TEEN: (Shaking head:) And the living room table? I had to beg my mom not to send you to a homeless shelter.

FIRST TEEN: I was just trying to help pick up.

SECOND TEEN: Not everybody is a picker-upper-er. She was late to a meeting with her boss 'cause she couldn't find her drawings.

FIRST TEEN: I just wanted to earn my keep. Say thank you for letting me stay.

SECOND TEEN: So say "thank you."

FIRST TEEN: (Beat.) Like I really can't come back? Not ever? (Beat.) Wow. I'm like a vampire. I've been uninvited.

SECOND TEEN: Don't say stuff like that.

FIRST TEEN: So even if my house burned down I still can't come over? Or what if there's an earthquake in my house? Or a flood?

SECOND TEEN: Keep watering your plant like that and there might be.

FIRST TEEN: I'm serious.

SECOND TEEN: Me too. (Beat.) You just can't try to control every little thing.

FIRST TEEN: What if little things are all you've got?

SECOND TEEN: Don't you think everybody feels that way sometimes?

FIRST TEEN: Do you?

SECOND TEEN: I'm part of everybody.

FIRST TEEN: Sometimes I just lose it. I don't want to. It just happens.

SECOND TEEN: Maybe if you feel it, go talk to Inger.

FIRST TEEN: I don't want to yell at Inger.

SECOND TEEN: I know. But you could breathe. Like really hard until you feel it slowing down.

FIRST TEEN: I don't want Inger to get a lot of negative energy. She's just a plant.

SECOND TEEN: I think she'd understand.

FIRST TEEN: (Beat.) So if a zombie was about to splatter my brains all over your window.

SECOND TEEN: There are no zombie—

FIRST TEEN: If a zombie was about to—

SECOND TEEN: You're not gonna get kicked out again.

FIRST TEEN: I'm just asking. Hungry zombie. My brains. And I'm screaming, "[Second Teen's Name], help me!"

SECOND TEEN: (Beat.) Maybe if we tied your hands so you couldn't touch anything.

(Is the Second Teen serious? No one is quite sure.)

FIRST TEEN: I could work with that.