Two Teens on a mission to photograph their favorite music star instead become unwilling heroes.

(Warning: Using this scene without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)

(Two TEENS at an upscale restaurant, crawling on the ground.)

FIRST TEEN: Just a little closer.

SECOND TEEN: This is so wrong on so many levels.

FIRST TEEN: People do it all the time.

SECOND TEEN: Really? Who?

FIRST TEEN: Just a few more steps.

SECOND TEEN: We're crawling. On the ground. How has nobody said anything?

FIRST TEEN: We're blending. People are too busy enjoying their lobster crusted steak or whatever. That and I slipped the waiter a Lincoln.

SECOND TEEN: A five?

FIRST TEEN: It's all I had. He said he was gonna be making a tableside Caesar for four minutes and fifteen seconds, but after that, if he looked down and saw us, he was gonna have us thrown in the dumpster.

SECOND TEEN: The— Thrown in the—

FIRST TEEN: Oh. I think he also said he was gonna call the police.

SECOND TEEN: Not the dumpster then.

FIRST TEEN: After the dumpster. We are kinda stalking.

SECOND TEEN: Why did I let you talk—

FIRST TEEN: Because you know that [pick a current music star] is my life. And being my best friend—

SECOND TEEN: I'm your best friend?!

FIRST TEEN: Who else would—

SECOND TEEN: Amber [Artie].

FIRST TEEN: Is Amber [Artie] getting rug burns on her [his] knees, helping me achieve that one moment of total bliss that will come from a selfie with [first name of star]? Heck no.

SECOND TEEN: So we have four minutes and fifteen seconds before the waiter—

FIRST TEEN: I heard someone call him Robert.

SECOND TEEN: Before Robert has us thrown in the dumpster and calls the cops.

FIRST TEEN: More like three now. Or two and a half. Oh no—they just brought back his [her] credit card.

SECOND TEEN: He's [She's] signing.

FIRST TEEN: His [her] friend is getting up.

SECOND TEEN: It's OK. We'll cut them off. There's only one route from his [her] table to the door.

FIRST TEEN: Twenty feet. We can totally crawl twenty feet. We can do this.

(They crawl at a furious pace.)

SECOND TEEN: Yes, we can.

(Beat.)

What's wrong with that woman?

FIRST TEEN: Which woman?

SECOND TEEN: The one who's all—

(The Second Teen makes snorting, coughing, choking sounds.)

FIRST TEEN: That seems kind of rude at a nice restaurant. Forty-five degree turn...

SECOND TEEN: (Figuring it out:) I think she's choking.

FIRST TEEN: Go.

(The First Teen alters trajectory.)

Wait—what?

SECOND TEEN: She's definitely choking.

(Beat.)

What do we do?

FIRST TEEN: That waiter in the corner will help her. He sees her.

SECOND TEEN: He's getting [star's first name]'s coat.

FIRST TEEN: No no no this can't be happening.

SECOND TEEN: I took that weekend course at the Y.

FIRST TEEN: How fast can you save her?

(They crawl toward a table just offstage and then stand.)

SECOND TEEN: (Exiting toward the table:) Ma'am, I know this looks weird, but I'm going to save you.

(The lights flicker. It's now shortly afterward. Both teens are back onstage and look stuffed with food.)

FIRST TEEN: His [Her] music changed my life. I'll probably never be that close again. I just wanted one picture.

SECOND TEEN: Lady's gonna live. It was nice of her to buy us dinner—

FIRST TEEN: I'm gonna die.          SECOND TEEN: —and selfie with us.

SECOND TEEN: (Beat.) No you won't. You still got the music, right?