Mandy, 12, has eaten all of the Girl Scout cookies she was supposed to sell. She has come to her friend Burton, 13, for help.
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(Consumption, New Jersey. A girl, MANDY, 12, enters, holding 50 boxes of empty Girl Scout cookies. She is paranoid. She throws them to the ground. A boy with beautiful hair, BURTON, 13, enters.)

MANDY: Shut the door. You idiot! Shut the door! You're letting in the light.

BURTON: Mandy, what's wrong? I thought we were going to watch ice skating and hold hands. Come on, your mom's not home. It'll be fun.

MANDY: You don't understand. It's too late. They're going to find out. They're all going to know.

BURTON: A lot of people enjoy ice skating, Mandy. It's the most popular sport in the winter Olympics. There's nothing to be ashamed of. What are all those boxes, Mandy? Are those Girl Scout cookies? Are those empty Girl Scout cookies? Aren't you supposed to be selling them for your troop? Where did you get that kind of money to buy so many boxes, Mandy?

MANDY: I don't have any money. My mother works at the aquarium store and when the economy is bad, no one has money to buy exotic fish. Listen to me. (Grabbing Burton:) Burton, you're going to help me hide the evidence. You have to help me.

BURTON: I thought we were just going to hold hands and watch ice skating while your mom was out at Bingo. Vasile Plushenko is in the nationals. He's our favorite male figure skater.

MANDY: No one needs to find out, Burton. You're going to help me.

BURTON: You don't look so good, Mandy. Your eyes are wild. I haven't seen you like this, well ever.

MANDY: Look we obviously have a problem here. They could take my badges away. I could be ousted. I could be excommunicated. I could be...killed.

BURTON: Did you eat all those cookies...yourself?

MANDY: Yes, Burton. I ate them all.

BURTON: But aren't you sworn to only sell your cookies for good?

MANDY: I know the Girl Scout oath, Burton.

BURTON: Why did you do it? If they find out...oh crackers...this could be it for you. You don't mess with the Girl Scouts of America.

MANDY: I know what's at stake. Now I need your help. You have to help me hide the wrappers and boxes. My mother is going to be home from bingo any minute and we need to hide the evidence. We can bury them out by the septic tank.

BURTON: You ate them all?

MANDY: I ate them all, Burton.

(Burton turns away dramatically. His beautiful hair may flip as well. )

What? You can't look at me anymore? You're ashamed at my weakness?

BURTON: I would have given you money, Mandy. I have like 300 dollars from my modeling in a fixed term savings account. I don't think I know you anymore. Why did you have to break your Girl Scout oath?

MANDY: I'm a terrible person. I can't help it. I was weak. I came home from school and I had like the worst day ever. Everyone made fun of my new pants and my mom forgot to make dinner again. And I was waiting here alone for you to come over.

BURTON: We could have ordered a pizza. I have 300 dollars from my modeling.

MANDY: And I was very unhappy so I went into the garage to look at all the boxes that Miss Lick had ordered for the troop. A giant wall of green boxes filled with all the hope and promise of girlhood. An American dream of camaraderie, lanyard making, and outdoor sports all promised in a little tiny cookie. It started so simply with the thin mints. Just one at first. A burst of mint cookieness in a chocolate covered hue. The cold dry bottom hitting my tongue and the gentle but crisp snap of wafer filling my wet mouth with Girl Scout goodness.

BURTON: Stop.

MANDY: No, Burton, this is who I am. I ate the Thin Mints. All 17 boxes.

BURTON: You mean pre-sold boxes of Thin Mints!

MANDY: Yes. Pre-sold. Boxes belonging to neighbors, friends, members of my church group, my mom's co-workers at The Friendly Fish Forum. All cookies that I had spent weeks selling. Peddling. Stacks of boxes just waiting to be happily delivered by me. And now they will all be denied. My stomach hurts.

BURTON: You're insane.

MANDY: I couldn't stop.

BURTON: You have a problem.

MANDY: I know. It didn't stop with the Thin Mints. Without a thought...without a tinge of regret, I moved to the Do-si-dos.

BURTON: I can't hear any more. Stop!

MANDY: Then the Trefoils, the Tagalongs, and even the Carmel Delights. And I don't even like the Carmel Delights.

BURTON: Saboteur! Someone must like the Carmel Delights if they had filled out the order sheets. You forgot your duty!

MANDY: No one likes the Carmel Delights.

BURTON: What about your cookie connection badge?

MANDY: I'm never going to get that cookie connection badge now. I've let down everyone. Everyone. Pepper. Rashida. Mad Dog. Toastito. Frankie. Miss Lick. My grandmother. The whole troop. I'm going to be the laughing stock of Consumption, New Jersey.

BURTON: You have to tell your mom. She's the only one who can save you from the Girl Scouts.

MANDY: I can't tell my mother. She would kill me. She hates gluttony. She hates when her customers overfeed the fish. She is going to kill me. I mean really kill this time. She's got a temper, especially after bingo. Once when I lost my retainer, she had to be restrained and tranquilized.

BURTON: Really?

MANDY: I had to slip some Benadryl in her Snapple just to get her to calm down.

BURTON: You don't look so good.

MANDY: (Becoming hysterical:) I think I may have eaten a thousand dollars of crap this evening.