Standing six feet, eight inches, Ed Shockley is one of America's tallest produced playwrights.
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Dodge, a young elf, is in a clearing in the forest. While in the play, Dodge is a female, this monologue is suitable for actors of either gender.
(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)
Dodge, you scamp. Sometimes you must speak out loud to your river’s reflection in order to find an elf of ample cleverness to appreciate your novel genius. Just today, in point of fact, you have dreamed a scheme to free you from the tiresome task of painting Autumn leaves. They’ve sent you fetching for the colors and you’ve absconded with the paint, leaving bits of cloth and broken bushes as if there was a terrible row. They’ll think some wind giant or summer sunbeam desperate for a final dance upon the curling surf has taken you and all the colors so as to delay the coming of fall. I need only to hide these cannisters then turn up days hence looking haggard to escape weeks of terrible tedious work.
I love to frolic, snack and snooze
Avoiding labor with my wit.
The shortest path is one I choose
When I can get away with it.
Let others larder winter stores
And sweat beneath a pounding sun,
I’ll fill the glen with snorting snores
Then raid a barn when gathering’s done!
Dear me! Here come my cousins searching sooner than I had expected. Scurry, Dodge, for if you’re found your scheming comes to naught.
(Dodge grabs the cans and EXITS)